Pulling a Fast One

Alan was scheduled to work at 8 o'clock. He needed new shoes for work, because you could see his toe through the sole of his shoe in his old ones! April doesn't let her men walk around like that! ;) Since the shoes weren't for anything special, we went to Walmart. It was around seven. I love shopping. We were there, and I was trying on hats, shoes, and looking at purses. But Alan took longer than I did to find shoes. He's such a girl. ;)

As we're leaving the store, I looked at my watch and it had suddenly become 10 to eight! Alan is supposed to be at work already. I have about ten minutes to get his ass across the city. Worse than that, he's still in his jeans and t-shirt! Not appropriate attire for him to walk into the workplace wearing when he's already late.

My solution to this? Speed like hell, while he changes his clothes.

With lightning speed, I swing out of the parking lot, and onto the road, and I don't give the gas pedal a break. I'm weaving in and out of traffic trying to pass people. I hit a red light, but I'm lucky enough to be first in the lane, so I can fly down the road with no one in my way when the lights change again. I look over at Alan, who's still got his clothes on. I pull his work shirt from the backseat, and throw it to him. "Take off your shirt!" He obeys, and removes his shirt, seatbelt still on. I'm laughing, and too afraid to look at the car beside us. He takes off his shirt and puts the other one on. He asks me to hand him his pants. He starts unzipping. We're both laughing, and I mention that it'll be a fantastic blog entry.

The traffic light turns green, and I hammer on the peddle again. My car starts to move, and I'm ahead of the traffic behind me. Except this white van. It's following me kind of closely. I laugh and think that this guy must be in as much of a rush as we are, and I push on the gas a little harder. Looking in my mirror, to see if he's still close, I inspect the van a little more closely. I can barely make them out, but those are unmistakeably lights on the roof.

"Alan, oh my god, that's a fucking COP CAR!"