Friday, September 16, 2005

Monster-in-law

I was surprised to hear that Alan told his parents yesterday that he is moving in with me. We had a date set of October 14th for his move, but likely it will be closer to the end of the current month the way things are going. That's another step up from after Christmas which was the original plan. Things are moving quite quickly.

I went to pick him up after a night out with friends, around 11:00. I had told him earlier in the day that I would be there at that time, and to meet me outside. I pulled up at about 10:55, turned on the dome light, and started to read. Five minutes later, Alan came outside. He was smiling, and I knew what was going on. His parents wanted me to come in. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Remembering that his mother has been bedridden for the past week due to a knee infection, I walk towards the door, saying "At least your mom can't get out of bed yet. Right? Right?" He looked back at me, and smiled a little grin. Shit. Shit. Shit. She's up and walking towards the door as we walk in. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I'm terrified. Literally. Not of physical harm, but of the uncomfortable conversation that is about to unfold. I've never done well with uncomfortable subjects, which comes from my mother. If you try and bring something up to my mother you want to discuss, she just shuts down. I'd like to think I'm not that bad. But if there was ever a time I would, it would have been last night.

His mother sat down on the loveseat in the living room, and asked me to sit down next to her. The first thing she said was "It's OKAY!" hahaha :) I think she could sense the tension. But they did try and talk us out of it, which was fine. In fact, I would have been shocked if they didn't, because they're good parents. Good parents try and change their only sons mind when he wants to move out and shack up with his girl at nineteen, after only three months of dating. Alan, you're lucky. What did my mom do when I told her you were moving in? She certainly didn't say anything like your parents did. Your parents care about you.

Aside from telling us that they don't approve of how fast it's happening, they did inform us of some very good things that we hadn't considered, such things as health insurance and how he wouldn't be qualified for the family insurance if he didn't live at home. That's something that I didn't know. So when he does move in, his address isn't going to be changed on any documentation, such as his drivers licence. To me, that makes it feel less "official," but I understand it.

They are such caring people. they love their son so much, and it's shown in everything they do and think about. They asked me what I was missing from my apartment, and I was sad to have to tell them that I have everything. Down to dishes and everything. They said they'd been carrying stuff around with them in storage the many times they've moved for "Alan's first apartment," and I think they're sad that they don't get to really help out all that much. It came up that they're likely going to give us their old dehumidifier, which is great, because that's saving me at least $150. I was reluctant about it at first, but it really does make sense if they want to buy a newer, quieter one, because we really really do need one. His mother has been after me for weeks on whether I have one or not yet, but she doesn't realize that I simply don't have a few hundred dollars just to throw away, especially the way gas prices were. I used all $200 of my emergency money since my last paycheck. But I don't want her to think that I'm not responsibly budgeted.

Later on, I asked how his sister had taken it. She's only young, about 14. Her and her brother get along so well, and as Alans father put it, he's her link to sanity. hehe :) I don't have any siblings, so I don't know what that's like. But it can't be fun to think that you're going to be the only child left in the house. Alan assured me it's not quite as bad as hs mother put it.

As we were getting ready to leave, it was close on midnight at this point, his mother said "Thanksgiving is HERE, and that's final! You can even help me with it." I almost cried there and then.

Eep. I thought it was hard to balance two sets of parents. What the hell am I going to do with THREE? :)

3 Comments:

Blogger zona boy said...

THREE???

My son stayed behind when we left Calgary to move in with his girlfriend. I was very hard on his mom because she's religious but I understood his motives.

It's something you'll have to have kids to understand fully my dear.

Of course you two have my best wishes.

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